I'm over the moon to give you a Sneak Peek of...
HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO - my first Cozy Cash Mystery Christmas Novella,
will be part of the superfab MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE Christmas Anthology with the A-mazing Tonya Kappes, Lee Lopez and Talli Roland!
For HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO...
Think Will and Kate gone Bond, James Bond in the Grinch's Who-ville.
Here's a Sneak Peek:
And here I thought livin’ in a castle was gonna be rough.
Want to know what’s worse?
Or at least has the potential to be worse?
Goin’ home for the holidays.
That’s my current crazy-trip...and when that trip includes your new fake husband, who has yet to meet his crazy ass in-laws, the entire concept of a threat to your sanity ratchets up to a level all of its own nefarious bidding.
But wait...there’s more.
And no, this isn’t an infomercial, no matter how hard I wish it was.
This is reality.
My quirky-crazy reality.
So what happens when your pretend spouse finds out his in-laws are much more than in-laws?
What if...and let’s just toss this out there...
What if...they’re Mr. and Mrs. Claus?
At least that’s who they think they are.
I know...it sounds like one of Tim Allen’s Santa Claus movies, right?
Well, it ain’t.
It’s my hullabaloo of a Who-ville life.
Think of it as a for-real Dr. Seuss Who-ville, but one with a cast of characters very Christmas with the Fockers.
And I know what you’re thinkin’...
Extra egg-nog, please.
And cheers to that...cause y’all are gonna need it.
I’m Zoey Witherspoon, Duchess of Caserta, and I’m about to take my pretend husband, Prince Roman Bellesconi Umberto-Vittorio Emanuele Vanvitelli, the Duke of Caserta, home for the holidays.
We’re Italy’s version of Will and Kate.
And we’re on our way to The State’s and my childhood home - the Midwestern suburbia version of Who-ville - for one helluva holiday hullabaloo!
I’m about to tell my prince about my parent’s mental issues, and it ain’t gonna be easy. But that’s okay. ‘Cause, for me, life never has been easy.
Not since the age of five, when my parents decided they weren’t just the Witherspoons of Lakeshore Drive.
They were Mr. and Mrs. Claus, who lived in a new version of The North Pole along the fabulous shores of Lake Michigan.
My parents, George and Suzie Witherspoon, suffer from a delusional disorder.
Well...that’s not exactly correct either.
They don’t suffer. They have no clue their beliefs are delusional.
I’m the one who suffers. I’m the kid who’s always simply smiled and shrugged off their eccentricities.
I mean really...what’s not to love about living Christmas all-year-long?
Okay. So maybe our family elves and reindeer have been a bit much to reconcile with Joe Q Public. But other than that, life in Santa and Mrs. Claus’ workshop ain’t all that bad. As long as you’re on “the nice list”.
I thought about all this and how to break it to my prince while snuggled up to our pot-bellied pig’s cozy warm snout. Soaking in the love his squirms and happy-go-lucky ouff-ing noises stirred in my soul, I did find some comfort. But I could use a bunch more.
“We’ll be landing in about a half hour,” Roman said, returning his cushy seat, in our private jet, to its upright position.
Thank God he’d been tired from our stop-over in LA. We’d been there just a few days, long enough to help-out Lily Vaughn, one of our Mom Squad Members, and her brother Wayne, deal with some Hollywood film industry thugs.
Thanks to their predicament, I’d managed to prolong the obvious for as long as possible. But my time had now run-out.
When Dad picked us up from the private airstrip not far from our home, in one of our reindeer-drawn sleighs, I was gonna have some major explaining to do. So I might as well get a jump on our out of the ordinary greeting committee.
“So yeah...about meeting my parents,” I said, deciding to just go for the gusto.
It’s not as if I could somehow get out of the spectacle Roman was about to become part of.
“Are you finally going to tell me about them?” He asked.
The genuine kindness I’d come to expect and adore from him lit up his eyes brighter than any one of the thirty-nine Christmas trees my parents had in their home.
“Have you ever heard of delusional disorder?” I asked.
While I tried to explain my parent’s condition, the age-old knots in my stomach tightened in a very familiar way.
“You mean like a person thinks something is true that the rest of society doesn’t? Kind of like when you’re a child and believe in St. Nick?”
Oh boy. How do you explain that your parents don’t just believe in ‘ole Nick, they think they are ‘ole Nick and his Mrs. too?
“Yes, that’s it. And funny you should mention the St. Nick delusion...”
I looked straight into Roman’s extra-shot-of-espresso eyes, knowing his warmth would always be there for me, but still hating like hell to have to burden him with my family’s insanity.
“Go ahead,” he coached me, totally unaware of what he was about to get into.
HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO (part of the MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE Christmas Anthology) will be available sometime the first week of November on Amazon Kindle, Nook, iPad, and at Smashwords too!
Sexy Sassy Smart MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE Wishes --- D. D. Scott