Tuesday, October 25, 2011

HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO - A Sneak Peek at My First Cozy Cash Mystery Christmas Novella (Part of the MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE Christmas Anthology)

Happy Tuesday, D. D. Scott-ville!

I'm over the moon to give you a Sneak Peek of...

HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO - my first Cozy Cash Mystery Christmas Novella,

which

will be part of the superfab MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE Christmas Anthology with the A-mazing Tonya Kappes, Lee Lopez and Talli Roland!



For HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO...

Think Will and Kate gone Bond, James Bond in the Grinch's Who-ville.


Here's a Sneak Peek:



CHAPTER ONE

And here I thought livin’ in a castle was gonna be rough.

Want to know what’s worse?

Or at least has the potential to be worse?

Goin’ home for the holidays.

That’s my current crazy-trip...and when that trip includes your new fake husband, who has yet to meet his crazy ass in-laws, the entire concept of a threat to your sanity ratchets up to a level all of its own nefarious bidding.

But wait...there’s more.

And no, this isn’t an infomercial, no matter how hard I wish it was.

This is reality.

My quirky-crazy reality.

So what happens when your pretend spouse finds out his in-laws are much more than in-laws?

What if...and let’s just toss this out there...

What if...they’re Mr. and Mrs. Claus?

At least that’s who they think they are.

I know...it sounds like one of Tim Allen’s Santa Claus movies, right?

Well, it ain’t.

It’s my hullabaloo of a Who-ville life.

Think of it as a for-real Dr. Seuss Who-ville, but one with a cast of characters very Christmas with the Fockers.

And I know what you’re thinkin’...

Extra egg-nog, please.

And cheers to that...cause y’all are gonna need it.


CHAPTER TWO

I’m Zoey Witherspoon, Duchess of Caserta, and I’m about to take my pretend husband, Prince Roman Bellesconi Umberto-Vittorio Emanuele Vanvitelli, the Duke of Caserta, home for the holidays.

We’re Italy’s version of Will and Kate.

And we’re on our way to The State’s and my childhood home - the Midwestern suburbia version of Who-ville - for one helluva holiday hullabaloo!

I’m about to tell my prince about my parent’s mental issues, and it ain’t gonna be easy. But that’s okay. ‘Cause, for me, life never has been easy.

Not since the age of five, when my parents decided they weren’t just the Witherspoons of Lakeshore Drive.

They were Mr. and Mrs. Claus, who lived in a new version of The North Pole along the fabulous shores of Lake Michigan.

My parents, George and Suzie Witherspoon, suffer from a delusional disorder.

Well...that’s not exactly correct either.

They don’t suffer. They have no clue their beliefs are delusional.

I’m the one who suffers. I’m the kid who’s always simply smiled and shrugged off their eccentricities.

I mean really...what’s not to love about living Christmas all-year-long?

Okay. So maybe our family elves and reindeer have been a bit much to reconcile with Joe Q Public. But other than that, life in Santa and Mrs. Claus’ workshop ain’t all that bad. As long as you’re on “the nice list”.

I thought about all this and how to break it to my prince while snuggled up to our pot-bellied pig’s cozy warm snout. Soaking in the love his squirms and happy-go-lucky ouff-ing noises stirred in my soul, I did find some comfort. But I could use a bunch more.

“We’ll be landing in about a half hour,” Roman said, returning his cushy seat, in our private jet, to its upright position.

Thank God he’d been tired from our stop-over in LA. We’d been there just a few days, long enough to help-out Lily Vaughn, one of our Mom Squad Members, and her brother Wayne, deal with some Hollywood film industry thugs.

Thanks to their predicament, I’d managed to prolong the obvious for as long as possible. But my time had now run-out.

When Dad picked us up from the private airstrip not far from our home, in one of our reindeer-drawn sleighs, I was gonna have some major explaining to do. So I might as well get a jump on our out of the ordinary greeting committee.

“So yeah...about meeting my parents,” I said, deciding to just go for the gusto.

It’s not as if I could somehow get out of the spectacle Roman was about to become part of.

“Are you finally going to tell me about them?” He asked.

The genuine kindness I’d come to expect and adore from him lit up his eyes brighter than any one of the thirty-nine Christmas trees my parents had in their home.

“Have you ever heard of delusional disorder?” I asked.

While I tried to explain my parent’s condition, the age-old knots in my stomach tightened in a very familiar way.

“You mean like a person thinks something is true that the rest of society doesn’t? Kind of like when you’re a child and believe in St. Nick?”

Oh boy. How do you explain that your parents don’t just believe in ‘ole Nick, they think they are ‘ole Nick and his Mrs. too?

“Yes, that’s it. And funny you should mention the St. Nick delusion...”

I looked straight into Roman’s extra-shot-of-espresso eyes, knowing his warmth would always be there for me, but still hating like hell to have to burden him with my family’s insanity.

“Go ahead,” he coached me, totally unaware of what he was about to get into.



HULLABALOO AND HOLLY TOO (part of the MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE Christmas Anthology) will be available sometime the first week of November on Amazon Kindle, Nook, iPad, and at Smashwords too!

Sexy Sassy Smart MADNESS UNDER THE MISTLETOE Wishes --- D. D. Scott

Monday, October 17, 2011

LICENSED FOR LOVE - Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #2 - Arrives Today!!!

The Mom Squad...your fave Bootscootin’ Books and Cozy Cash Mystery Characters...are back!!!

This time, in my second Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery Short Story...




Licensed For Love on Amazon

Licensed For Love on B&N Nook

Licensed For Love on Smashwords

***Note: I'll give you the Amazon and Nook links as soon as they're live!!! :) ***


The Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mysteries are a unique treat for both new readers and seasoned fans of my Bootscootin’ & Cozy Cash Mystery Books! They're short story-sized peeks into my collection of interconnected books.

In Licensed For Love, think Roz Focker of Meet the Fockers as The Terminator’s new Sarah Connor – partnered with - Cliff the Mailman from Cheers.



Each Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery (short story) features at least one of The Mom Squad quirky-crazy, blue-haired Charlie's Angels wanna-be's!

You'll get to meet their extended families plus learn the unique skill each Mom Squad Member has been trained-to by The Cozy Cash Mysteries' Quarter Master R.

LICENSED FOR LOVE – Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #2 - features Jules’ Aunt Tulip, who rumor has it, is now not just a sex therapist, but also a femme fatale.

She’s licensed on all-things-love plus licensed to kill. And guess what? It’s hunting season...




Here's a Sneak Peek Excerpt:


I pulled the bundle of mail from the mailbox and flipped through the stack.

Nothing out of the ordinary – bill, junk, bill, Psychology Today magazine, and a renewal notice for my membership in AASECT, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

To me, AASECT has always sounded like some insect name, not a pleasant acronym of a professional organization for sex therapists.

But “out of the ordinary” and insects describes more than my mail, it describes my current life, where everything is far away from my norm and quite frankly, bugging me.

I’m Dr. Telaine Patricia Cohen, your basic Rosalind “Roz” Focker, Barbara Streisand-portrayed Sex Therapist. I moved to Nashville, Tennessee – AKA Music City - after falling in love with it while visiting my niece, Jules Lichtenstien, who you probably already know, is Music City’s new cupcake boutique queen and also a caterer to the stars.

But I didn’t just fall in love with the city. I also fell hard for one of its letter carriers.

For the past four months, I’ve been living with Jules’ prosthetic-eared mailman, Ben. And although I adore the guy, I’m still trying to remember why I agreed to move in with him.

Our relationship could definitely use a match to re-ignite the spark that originally attracted us.

Ben’s spark had been his penchant for fun. He may not be able to hear very well, but the guy’s got the Midas Touch when it comes to over-the-top spectacular, seeing stars in the bedroom moves.

But after glancing at the deer on the cover of his latest sportsman’s catalog, I had a revelation. Fun with your live-in was evidently out of season. Hunting, however, was in-season, meaning girlfriends and/or wives were out.

I know what you all are thinking. And yes, I’m a “therapist”. A therapist who now needs a therapist. Why? Because, let me tell you something. At Yale, they don’t teach you how to deal with becoming a hunting widow.

My cell phone rang and temporarily shook me out of my life funk.

I glanced at the display. No surprise.

I’d actually taken the phone with me to the mailbox because it was time for Ben to be fighting interstate traffic on his way home from the post office. He always called me to estimate his arrival for dinner.

Evidently, hunting season didn’t rob a man of his appetite for food...just his appetite for love.

“Hey, baby.” Ben’s voice sounded muffled from the hands-free system in his SUV. “I should be home in about half an hour.”

“Sounds good.”

“Do we have any plans for tomorrow?”

In Ben-speak that meant he did.

I took a deep breath and forced a pleasant response. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, a couple of the guys want to head to the woods because deer season starts tomorrow. Is it okay if I go?”

“Fine with me,” I said, with a bit more zip to my voice than I’d originally intended.

I normally deplored Ben’s little-boy way of asking for a kitchen pass. But his request to hunt, coupled with the catalog cover had given me an idea.

Maybe I hadn’t lost my multiple-award-winning therapist’s touch. Suddenly, I had an epiphany and knew just what to do to shake up our waaay too cozy – and boring - love nest.

So it was big-game season, huh?

Well, too bad.

I wasn’t about to spend our four-month anniversary – the fruit and flowers one – alone. Ben would be hunting, all right, but not the prey he planned on. The only permit he was about to be issued was his live-in’s license for love.

I’d teach him that the fifth anniversary we’d be celebrating next month, one I’m sure he planned to live to talk about, wasn’t the only one with “wood” involved.

And yes, I know that technically, you count anniversaries in years, not months. But I’ve always coached my patients to celebrate every day, every week, and every month of their relationships. I’d simply forgotten to make good on my own therapeutic recommendations.

With only half an hour to work, I had to move fast.



Happy Reading!!!

Sexy Sassy Smart D. D. Scott-ville Mom Squad Wishes --- D. D. Scott

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

FLUID FULFILLMENT - Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #1 - Hits The Top 100 Kindle Short Story Bestseller List on Its First Day!!!

Hellooooooooooooooo, D. D. Scott-ville!!!

Here's a huge 'ole shout-out and thank you for making FLUID FULFILLMENT hit Amazon Kindle's Top 100 Short Story Bestseller List on its very first day!!!





Y'all rock!!!

Welcome to my new Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mysteries!!!

Happy Reading and Thank U again for all your superfab sweet support and luuuvvv!!!

Sexy Sassy Smart D. D. Scott-ville Wishes --- D. D. Scott

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

FLUID FULFILLMENT - Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #1 - is Here!!!

Happy Tuesday, D. D. Scott-ville!

It's Release Week for my next D. D. Scott Cozy Cash Comedic Caper Adventure!!!

FLUID FULFILLMENT - Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #1 - is now available on Smashwords and will be live on both Amazon Kindle and B&N Nook anytime now!!!

***Note: I'll update this post as soon as I've got the Kindle & Nook Links!!!

FLUID FULFILLMENT on Amazon

FLUID FULFILLMENT on B&N Nook




While we're waiting, I thought I'd treat y'all to a Sneak Peek!

First, here's the scoop on The Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mysteries:

Each Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery (short story) will feature at least one of The Mom Squad quirky-crazy, blue-haired Charlie's Angels wanna-be's!

You'll get to meet their extended families PLUS learn the unique skill each Mom Squad Member has been trained-to by The Cozy Cash Mysteries' QuarterMaster R.


FLUID FULFILLMENT – Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #1 - features Roxy's mom Lily Vaughn, who some say is now fairly gifted in Jujitsu. Think Victoria's Secret meets Kill Bill.


Now then...here's a Sneak Peek Excerpt:



I’m Lily Vaughn.

Well actually, Lily Vaughn-McKinna.

By now, you know my Bootscootin’, apparel-designing-daughter, Roxy Rae. And you might also remember I’m recently divorced from Roxy’s dad Steve Vaughn, a globe-trotting gigolo who runs a fashion empire on the scale of Salma Hyak’s husband, Francois-Henri Pinault. What Francois does with French luxury brands like Yves Saint Laurent and Gucci, my ex does with Italian luxury brands.

I must say, during the years I was Mrs. Vaughn, I learned to run a cutting-edge, dynamite-and-then-some fashion empire, and I’ve now built the same for my daughter’s Raeve Boutiques. Think of us like the Vaughn version of the Kardashian’s Dash stores. I’m Roxy’s business manager, AKA the Kris Kardashian of my daughter’s international fashion empire.

But this isn’t my only job...or what they call a gig out here in LA.

I’m also a member of The Mom Squad, a slightly older version of Charlie’s Angels, who fights international crime along-side one of Roxy’s BFFs and Hollywood stylist to the stars, Zoey Witherspoon.

Actually, we fight crime with Zoey, now the Duchess of Caserta, and her husband the Duke of Caserta, Prince Roman Bellesconi Umberto-Vittorio Emanuele Vanvitelli of the Royal House of Savoy.

And yeah, what a mouth-full, right?

But anyhoo...

Why aren’t you reading about the Duke and Duchess or their Bootscootin’ BFFs?

Well, trust me, we Mom Squad Members cause plenty of our own mayhem.

Take my brother Wayne McKinna, for example. Wayne is waaay over his older-guy-but-still-perfectly-fit head and body, and in super-deep Dutch with the Hollywood mob, thanks to another Mom Squad wanna-be...our Aunt Dodie.

So with the Duke and Duchess on stand-by, ready to assist as soon as my stubborn brother admits he needs them, we’re hunting down the Hollywood mob.

Here’s the scoop...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As I stood in the doorway to my brother’s office, I still couldn’t imagine him behind Uncle Lewis’ dark cherry desk. But there he was. Wayne McKinna...in his Southern Cal, golden boy flesh.

Okay...back-up a minute.

I suppose I can’t ignore the obvious. Now that Wayne and I are both in our late 60’s, I suppose he looks more like the dashing and mysterious Sir Sean Connery in his legendary Louis Vuitton ad.

Golden Boy or Sir Connery, either way, Wayne was trying to get comfortable in Uncle Lewis' leather chair. He tipped back the chair then kicked up his legs but couldn’t seem to let them relax over the edge of the desk.

I knew he was craving his beat-up metal desk with the perfectly etched coffee rings, not the slick, cool glass that covered Uncle Lewis' pricey antique collector’s piece.

Wayne just didn't belong in this decorator-perfect room, marking up the rugs and the once clean surface of Uncle Lewis’ desk too, with his old, chipped coffee cup. The usual streams of messy spills were now sloshing over the top and running down the sides.

Hell, he didn't belong here period!

Nothing about Deville 1300 Inc, a manufacturer and distributor of ladies' intimate accessories, was related to my brother. Or to me. Except the owners.

Childless, Uncle Lewis and Aunt Dodie had always looked after us with great pride. There were no boundaries to their affections. For that reason, they’d been kind enough to allow Wayne to set-up this farce of a job in order to accomplish the objectives of his real occupation.

But honestly, Aunt Dodie also thrived on helping Wayne with his career as a private investigator. She did have the eye, actually the nose, for his line of work. And on many occasions, she had helped him find the missing pieces of cases that had, up to that point, eluded him.

In fact, it was her good-natured meddling that was simultaneously indispensable and irritating as hell.

But despite our closeness to Lewis and Dodie, we would never have asked to use their company as a false storefront.

And yes, I most definitely said ‘we’.

Actually, Aunt Dodie and I had formulated the plan as a way for Wayne to appear to be settling into the neighborhood. We had reasoned with him that by accepting an Inventory Manager position at Deville, he'd have the cover he needed to find the person his latest client had hired him to locate. Since the person he had to find was also one of Deville’s best customers, Aunt Dodie and I were basically geniuses.

In the meantime, I’ve gone from helping locate missing cozy cash, in my Thug Guard and Lip Glock adventures, to now searching for missing people.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I may have gotten my nose for trouble from Aunt Dodie’s gene pool. But regardless, she had asked me to come home and help her with this job, so here I am.

Besides, I’ve learned a whole new repertoire of investigative skills, thanks to Roman and Zoey and Roman’s QuarterMaster R, and I am rather anxious to try them out.

Wayne pulled his Mac from its silver case and positioned it in the center of the desk. While he waited for it to power-up, he flipped through the paper file he always created on each new client.

Of course, Aunt Dodie and I had already snuck into his briefcase and perused the file, so we knew exactly what it contained.

Luke Branson's press shot slid out of the folder and onto the glass.

Wayne searched the man's face as if his intense study of it would cause the turd to appear right here in the flesh, ready for interrogation.

After adding Luke Branson to my Turd Roster, I couldn’t help but harrumph all to myself. I just love our Cozy Cash Adventure terms. For example, there is “vic” for victims and “perp” for perpetrators.

But by far, my personal favorite is “turd”, the name Roman, Zoey and R use for the money-hungry thugs we’ve been busy rounding-up. And wow, after spending most of my adult life on the posh Upper East Side of Manhattan, I’ve sure never been able to spout-off about turds.

Now then...back to our current turd on the loose.

Luke had the dark features of an Italian god. His black hair cascaded down around his shoulders in the first photo, but was severely pulled back in the second shot. In both, his raven eyes bore holes right through you.

The photos offered no room for misinterpretation. Luke Branson was a force to be feared, and he wanted anyone looking at him to have no doubts they should be afraid...very, very afraid.



FLUID FULFILLMENT is another 99 Cent D. D. Scott Ebook!!!


The Best of D. D. Scott-ville & Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery Wishes --- D. D. Scott


P.S. Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem Mystery #2 - LICENSED FOR LOVE - will release the end of October. Stay-tuned for more Mom Squad-style mayhem with that short-story gem too...